On Thursday, around 9:30 PM, LeBron James announced his choice to join the Miami Heat, leaving countless fans of other teams devastated, none moreso than those of his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers. While Cavs fans in particular probably would not have forgiven him anyways, the style of the announcement--on a one-hour TV special called "The Decision"--had people from everywhere, who had previously loved LeBron, turning on him. Even more turned on him in their disappointment that he didn't challenge himself and took the easy way out in their eyes, joining forces with people who instead he should be driven to defeat day in and day out. Others were simply surprised to see him tarnish his legacy, as now he will be looked upon as just one of a group, and not a guy who built championships himself--assuming he gets them at all in Miami.
In order to bring something original to the table, as I've personally listened to/read hours of material on the momentous decision, I've re-written a Seinfeld script. When LeBron referred to himself multiple times in the third person during his interviews, I was immediately reminded of Jimmy, a Seinfeld character present in one episode of the sixth season who made no use of first-person pronouns, appropriately titled "The Jimmy". With just slight modifications, I've tailored it to LeBron's flight from Cleveland. LeBron, of course, replaces Jimmy, while Cleveland takes the spot of George and Miami is Kramer.
LeBron walks in
Cleveland: "HEY! LeBron!!! ha ha ha.........Great game."
LeBron: "Oh yeah......LeBron played pretty good."
Cleveland: "Hey you know, I felt we had like a synergy out there, you know, like we were really helping each other."
Miami: "What d'you got there?"
LeBron: "These are LeBron's free agency options."
Cleveland: "Yeah yeah yeah yeah! I've seen these....they sorta....they make your ego stronger."
Miami: "They're excellent."
Miami: "Yeah! They'll isolate Cleveland. The city has to grow...or die."
Cleveland: (to LeBron) "Wh...Why are you leaving?"
LeBron: "LeBron decided it."
Cleveland: "You decided?"
LeBron: "Oh yeah! LeBron's all in right now. Moving to Miami could set LeBron back a bit."
Cleveland: "Hey listen, let me give you my card. It's got my home number on it. I want to buy the first ticket when the Heat come in next."
LeBron: "All right."
Cleveland: "All right LeBron. Good talking to ya."
LeBron: "LeBron'll see you around."
To see the original script, click here.
To see the video of the Seinfeld episode, click here.