So this is actually over a month old. Just about six weeks old, to be more accurate. But come on, timeliness has never been a trait of this blog, has it? On June 29, I went to the only Twins game I will see this year, when they played the Mets at Citi Field. The traffic I encountered on the way in (from the Hutch through the Whitestone Bridge) was an absolute disaster. It almost ruined the whole trip, but fortunately better things awaited, even if it wasn't a Twins victory.
Nonetheless, I decided then and there never to drive to New York City again. Granted I knew I would (and already have had) need to drive through the city, but never again would I drive into the city for something. Unfortunately, the very next day I had to drive my family to the airport as they were heading to Spain for a vacation. The following is my interpretation of the notes I scribbled down on the drive back, keeping in mind that the deciphering of the thoughts I jotted down just occurred today, well after I originally wrote them.
7:05 PM: I'm just about to leave JFK airport, when I can't find my phone and realize I must have left it at home [It turned out that it had fallen under the seat at some point on the way to the airport]. I notice it's missing only because I wish to send this message: "It's deja vu all over again. One day after I decided to drive to NYC, I had to take the same exact route and hit the same exact traffic jam, except this time I had to go further. And it worse going the other way. I am not happy."
7:09 PM: The parking lot has started on the Van Wyck. I heard on Seinfeld that "they say no one's ever beaten the Van Wyck" and now I know why. I also had seen a sign for Rockaway Boulevard, the shortcut Elaine mentions as an alternative, on the trip there, but didn't take it because I had no idea who to go that way. Anyways, I don't have a book, I don't have my phone, I have nothing to do. I just have to sit here in the car and wait.
7:19 PM: I'm very hungry. I only ate a muffin today. When I originally left the house, I was hoping to be back around 7:30 or 8:00. Clearly that is not happening. I am now hoping to get home for 'dinner' by 10:00. At least there's Chinese leftovers to look forward to!
7:22 PM: My legs are very sore. I'm quite uncomfortable. I drove forever last night and am doing it again today. It's also 84 degrees and I refuse to put the A/C on.
7:26 PM: I'm starting the trip odometer. I'll check it to see just how fast we're moving. The speed limit 50 signs are currently mocking me.
7:36 PM: We really sped up there for about five minutes--we've already moved 5.7 miles! But now the parking lot has reformed. A sign nearby declares: "Delays to Whitestone." Golly gee, thanks for the info.
7:39 PM: My right foot is tired. Commence driving with left foot. Not like any driving is being done anyways.
7:40 PM: Here are a few things I hate:
>traffic (I wonder why that came to mind?)
>full-service gas- Honestly, why should I have to wait for someone to slowly meander around and get to my car to pump my gas, only to come back WELL after my tank has been filled to return my credit card, when I am perfectly capable of doing it myself? Seriously, when I pull up to get gas at 2 in the morning and there's literally 10 pumps open, but it takes 15 minutes for the process because there's only one guy working, I am not in a good mood.
>Elizabeth, NJ- Alvaro is right. I'll joke once in a while about hating New Jersey, but I don't really have anything against it. But this place is awful. It's the biggest eyesore I've ever driven through and smells ten times worse.
>the New York Yankees
7:46 PM: At least the Twins won and Carl Pavano dominated. I wonder how the rest of my fantasy team is doing. [I'm not sure how I'd figured that out without my phone, but it's in my notes so I included it.]
7:51 PM: It's now 88 degrees. Why is it getting hotter at 8:00 in the evening? It's becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I need water. Oh, and we've moved half a mile in 15 minutes--the odometer's up to 6.2.
7:54 PM: [All I wrote down is exclusivepetservices.com. I think a van advertising the website drove by, and I had some sort of insightful and/or clever joke to go with it, but this is what happens when you wait six weeks to write about it.]
8:04 PM: Another thing I hate: when people clearly ignore the lane markings and end up cutting in. It slows everyone down. Yes, it's possible to forget or miss the signs, and I don't want to indict those people, but most of them were just clearly taking advantage of everyone else who was waiting in line properly.
8:06 PM: The odometer is now up to 6.7, meaning it took me half an hour to move 1 mile. That's an average speed of 2 miles per hour.
8:11 PM: Just got on the Whitestone Bridge, meaning I also just passed Citi Field. It looks like it might be clearing up soon.
8:13 PM: Odometer is up to 7.7. Just did the last mile in 7 minutes! Almost as fast as I could run a mile!
8:17 PM: At the toll. Hoping it clears up here.
It ends with that cryptic message. Fortunately, in this case that was good news. From there on it was smooth sailing meaning I was unable (and also unmotivated) to write any more. Why did I bother with this? I have no idea. If you made it this far, I'm shocked. And thank you.
Showing posts with label nm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nm. Show all posts
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Snow Football
Sammy B really dragged down his team, while Twin #1 and Drew Books (Sammy's sort-of-cousin) led the team to victory over an athletic and talented team consisting of Twin #2, Secret Aznman, and Fetus. Fetus especially gave the team needed speed and leaping ability, but three straight turnovers to start the 2nd half doomed this dream team. Running plays and short passes (in other words, boring football) also helped the Lord WarHoos claim victory in this matchup, and a drop by the usually sure-handed Aznman (who was missing his receiver gloves, presumably having given them to the needy Curt Staples) in the end zone with a chance to gain momentum did not help either.
In the 1st half, Aznman laid the hit of the game on Sammy B when he headbutted him to the ground, and Sammy writhed on the ground in pain for minutes while complaining about unfair play and a bad bracket as usual. Another notable play was Twin #1's somewhat impressive catch for a score after a fake screen pass left his man trailing and the safety late to get over to the corner of the end zone.
The 2nd half opened with a fumble by Twin #2, as Sammy B made his single positive contribution when he stripped the ball away as he fought for extra yards. The following 2 possessions for the Patriots ended in interceptions, as Twin #1 leapt high to take a touchdown away from Aznman and then the ball slipped out of the quarterback Fetus's hand and floated right to Sammy B, who had knocked his own teammate out of the way to come up with the pick. All three turnovers led to scores, and the Patriots quickly found themselves in a deep hole.
Even though the Lord WarHoos won the game, the play of the game and all the glory belongs to the Patriots, who executed an amazing final play on 4th and goal from the Santa Claus. Twin #2 faked a handoff to the blocking fullback, Aznman, and proceeded to pitch the ball to the speedy halfback Fetus who took off down the right side of the field behind Twin #2's pancake block of Twin #1. Then the MVP of the game for the WarHoos', Books, who had earlier made a spectacular one-handed catch with Fetus draped all over him, wrapped up the ballcarrier and seemingly ended the game.
Unfortunately, Sammy B came in to "assist" with the tackle and attempted to steal the glory (Twin #1 was still pancaked in the snow at the time), but simply managed somehow to give Fetus enough room to pitch the ball back to Twin #2, who luckily for the Patriots, had smartly run behind the ball and called for the Boise State-esque lateral. Fetus executed a perfect pitch even while being grabbed by the two defenders, and Twin #2 bobbled it slightly before sprinting up the left sideline toward the bucket.
With just open space between him and the goal line, it seemed that the final play would end in a score. However, out of nowhere came the other, less-talented twin, who had not tried all game and therefore had plenty of energy saved up. He cut off the corner of the end zone, so Twin #2 cut back towards the middle. As lazy and less-talented twin went low for the tackle, the older and smarter twin hurdled over the tackle and fell into the end zone with the ball outstretched for an amazingly impressive score.
After the game, all three members of the Patriots were voted into the franchise hall of fame by themselves. Sammy B was subsequently cut from his team and is now looking for work.
Game Notes:
Attendance- 1 (dog).
Injuries- Sammy B (headbutted by Aznman, bowled over by Fetus).
Snowboarding
In the 1st half, Aznman laid the hit of the game on Sammy B when he headbutted him to the ground, and Sammy writhed on the ground in pain for minutes while complaining about unfair play and a bad bracket as usual. Another notable play was Twin #1's somewhat impressive catch for a score after a fake screen pass left his man trailing and the safety late to get over to the corner of the end zone.
The 2nd half opened with a fumble by Twin #2, as Sammy B made his single positive contribution when he stripped the ball away as he fought for extra yards. The following 2 possessions for the Patriots ended in interceptions, as Twin #1 leapt high to take a touchdown away from Aznman and then the ball slipped out of the quarterback Fetus's hand and floated right to Sammy B, who had knocked his own teammate out of the way to come up with the pick. All three turnovers led to scores, and the Patriots quickly found themselves in a deep hole.
Even though the Lord WarHoos won the game, the play of the game and all the glory belongs to the Patriots, who executed an amazing final play on 4th and goal from the Santa Claus. Twin #2 faked a handoff to the blocking fullback, Aznman, and proceeded to pitch the ball to the speedy halfback Fetus who took off down the right side of the field behind Twin #2's pancake block of Twin #1. Then the MVP of the game for the WarHoos', Books, who had earlier made a spectacular one-handed catch with Fetus draped all over him, wrapped up the ballcarrier and seemingly ended the game.
Unfortunately, Sammy B came in to "assist" with the tackle and attempted to steal the glory (Twin #1 was still pancaked in the snow at the time), but simply managed somehow to give Fetus enough room to pitch the ball back to Twin #2, who luckily for the Patriots, had smartly run behind the ball and called for the Boise State-esque lateral. Fetus executed a perfect pitch even while being grabbed by the two defenders, and Twin #2 bobbled it slightly before sprinting up the left sideline toward the bucket.
With just open space between him and the goal line, it seemed that the final play would end in a score. However, out of nowhere came the other, less-talented twin, who had not tried all game and therefore had plenty of energy saved up. He cut off the corner of the end zone, so Twin #2 cut back towards the middle. As lazy and less-talented twin went low for the tackle, the older and smarter twin hurdled over the tackle and fell into the end zone with the ball outstretched for an amazingly impressive score.
After the game, all three members of the Patriots were voted into the franchise hall of fame by themselves. Sammy B was subsequently cut from his team and is now looking for work.
Game Notes:
Attendance- 1 (dog).
Injuries- Sammy B (headbutted by Aznman, bowled over by Fetus).
Snowboarding
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Prospect List
I will be completing and then posting my first Twins' prospect list sometime this week. I haven't decided how many players to include on the list; I'll figure that out as I work on it.
On a side note, I just found this guy who absolutely raked in AAA for the Tigers in 2002. I don't know where he's been for the last six years, but I'd be worried about him showing up to help the Tigers as he hit .538/.636/.769 in a full season while playing shortstop and centerfield.
(Oh wait. Those were my stats from my only all-star season when I played for the Gerard's Water Edge Marina Tigers that I found when going through some old computer stuff.)
On a side note, I just found this guy who absolutely raked in AAA for the Tigers in 2002. I don't know where he's been for the last six years, but I'd be worried about him showing up to help the Tigers as he hit .538/.636/.769 in a full season while playing shortstop and centerfield.
(Oh wait. Those were my stats from my only all-star season when I played for the Gerard's Water Edge Marina Tigers that I found when going through some old computer stuff.)
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